where'd your heart go?

[MOUSE-08]

Adrian Frost was never normal. Born into one of the most powerful families in the Southern Galaxy he was expected to be a great man, who would do great things. Instead he is a downtown playboy, who would rather party than work. Well, a playboy with the ability to change peoples emotions. Who felt misunderstood and alone in the world. That was until he met Martin Abley, who gave him a purpose to his life.

But Mr. Abley brings more danger than Adrian could ever realise. He is thrown into a world of lies and hate, a world where the black crow is always watching.

WARNINGS: Violence, Bi-sexuality, Homosexuality and some scenes of sensuality.

MC's:
Adrian Frost - Emotional Manipulation, ?
Martin Abley - ?, was told to kill Adrian, trained assasin

Subs:
Elei Pendantis- Mind reader and ?
Sally Devonthorpe - Mother of Molly, later murdered.
Molly Devonthorpe - Six year old daughter of Sally, was saved by Adrian, has an unknown power.
Jasper Altair - If focused can see the future of someone if they touch them.
Luna - Ability not chosen.
Celia - Can feel peoples emotions.
Gareth - Enhanced hearing and sight.
Martha - Girlfriend of Gareth.
Micheal - Ability not chosen.
Damian - Brother of Jasper. The ability to see the past of someone when he touches them.
Xander - Unknown part.
Harold Frost - Ability ect. not chosen.

P R O L O U G E

I couldn’t hear a thing over his laughter. The harsh, horrid sound filled my ears, ripping away my soul with its dreaded tune. I struggle, weak and pitiful. If only father could see me now I think in the darkness, before joining in with his bitter laugh. I hear him stop, feel his blue eyed stare and the pain of a sudden kick to my groin, pushing me to the wall. Tears, blood and sweat blind me so I just blink in silence as he grips the bonds on my hands, tightening them. The pain I should be feeling is nothing compared to my aching heart. I smile, small and sad, stumbling forward after him. I am rewarded with the feel of a knife hitting my cheek and let out a dry cough, the liquids bitter taste on my lips.

It was then I fell, hitting the floor with a thump. I had been stupid but it had at least sped up the process. The wound in my chest had reopened, soaking my white, medical outfit a vibrant red. Someone, somewhere panics. I hear a shout of protest, fingertips brushing over my skin. I blink, trying to figure out what was happening. Someone was being pushed away and even though I try to follow them I can’t even move. Instead I just shake and shiver, letting out a small, moaning noise. I lean down, wiping my face on my shoulder, insides clenching at another shock of pain.

Things become clearer, the room, the house, him. Where I thought there was only one more person in the room, I was wrong. Because he was stood there, wearing a blue pinstripe suit, green-grey eyes filled with some strange emotion and his hand, gripping at a small piece of crumpled paper. I smile, staring up at him from the floor. Then, before I had a chance to think over my last words, I whisper “Where’d your heart go?”

Silence.

Before a gun clicks, a bullet screeches in my ear and, for the second time, Martin Abley tries to kill me. For the first time, he suceeds.

[MOUSE-08]

C H A P T E R S O M E T H I N G

(i'm writing this based on the parts I want to write >< So it'll be a bit choppy but eventually this'll have order. Probably this is chapter 4-6 xD Depending on how i'm going to make Addy meet Martin)

The night was beautiful, stars shone like diamonds in the skies and the two orange moons of Oromis glimmered in the darkness. It was a nice change to yesterday’s weather, where dismal clouds had covered everything in a rain. Now small puddles of the rain had been left behind. Earlier I had seen little Molly dancing in them, her brown ringlets bouncing, her cheeks rosy. I decided I would miss the quaint little family when I had left. They were so happy living here, their little cottage in the Elias Plain lands. Still, I had to keep them safe and everywhere I seemed to go danger followed me. So the quicker I got away from them the better.

Now I was sat quietly on the window sill, eyes gazing out at the little garden. Little shrubs lined the cobbled garden path, a small gap left in between one of them leading off onto the little grassy area. There, in the center was the massive apple tree, its fruits looking ready to be harvested. Attached to its branch a swing, which Molly often played on. That night though the garden’s only inhabitants was the house cat, Mecho, who was happily chasing some fireflies.

I grinned, pushing open the window to let in a soft, welcomed breeze. Stupid beast. Was all I could think as the creature toppled head first toward the ground, shaking its head in surprise. Behind me someone laughed softly and I turned, just as surprised as the tabby, only to see Martin looking inquisitively at me.

He was stood, leaning against the wall, hair a mess and eyes tired. A deep blue dressing gown pulled around him, a contrast against his soft, pale skin. My heart slowed it’s startled pace and I gave him a soft smile, even though my insides squirmed, as it always did when both of us were alone in a room.

He seemed to sense my unease and gave me a silent, worried look. “Are you alright?” He queried, touching my shoulder, a comforting gesture. “Never better” I replied, giving him a cheeky wink, praying it wasn’t as hastily replied as I thought it was. For a moment he remained silent, watching me with that god damn look. The look which I could never work out. Then he nodded, too swiftly I noticed and he walked away, moving over to his bed. “You better get some sleep” He said, like a parent talking to a child.

For some reason I was oddly hurt.

On the outside though I nodded and, after closing the window, fell down onto my bed. The sheets soft against me skin. I couldn’t help but stare as Martin got under his own covers; our beds were right next to each other after all. It was just I could never work him out and it made me feel slightly… Well, slightly something. Just odd. Different. I rolled onto my side, propping my head up on my hand, so I could watch him. For awhile he didn’t seem to notice but finally whispered a curious “What?”

“Have you ever killed someone?” I asked suddenly. It had been a question going over my head for days now because even though I trusted him with my life when he had faced Xander, he had looked so ready to pull the trigger. Strangely it didn’t scare me though just made me respect him more, made me curious of why he would have wanted me to help him in the first place.

There was a calm, well calculated pause before he answered simply “Yes.” I frowned in the darkness; he had said it so easily like he didn’t care what I thought. No. It wasn’t that he didn’t care; it was the sound of someone who had done this all before. A person who sometime, somewhere had been asked the exact same question. For a moment both of us remained silent, even though questions plagued my thoughts. Then he asked, calm and collected as always “Are you afraid?” I stared at him, shocked. Why should I be? I shook my head and then yet again asked one of those questions which was just slightly inappropriate.

“Who did you first kill?”

It was his time to be slightly shocked and this time I could tell. A little crease appearing on his forehead, as it always did when he was worried or shocked about something. He lay, seemingly thinking the question over then gave me another simply reply. “Cade”

“Cade?” I repeated, questioning in my tone.

“Yes” He whispered, eyes closed, face tense. He was too still, too quiet. It just didn’t look right, like he was screaming within himself for telling me this vital piece of information.

“Who was he?” I asked, solemn. Whoever he was, it was hurting the other young man to talk about it but I wanted to know. It seemed important somehow.

No reply came. There was just the shuffle of the other rolling onto his other side, letting out a small sigh. I watched for a moment before lying down, staring in silence at the ceiling, listening to the sound of Martin’s slow, continuous breathing. I was sure that as I turned over onto my other side, slowly drifting to sleep, a crow watched from the window, black eyes gleaming. Before I fell into darkness.

-------------

Something was wrong.

I could feel Martin’s hands on my skin, shaking me, scratching down my arm. And while I wanted to wake up I stayed paralyzed, stuck in a dream like state, my eyes watching as he looked upon me, worried and urgent. The only problem was I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, just watch as he screamed insanities in my ear. Then, as if someone had woken me I could hear the shouts of my name on the air, the feel of his fingertips bruising my arms.

I gasped a breath, sitting up. “What’s going on?” I breathed, grabbing his arm and shaking it, as if it would get me the answer quicker.

I got no reply though, just felt myself be pulled forward, my foot caught on the suitcase on the floor and I stumbled forward, hitting my companions back with a thump. I cringe and pull the older man round, giving him a hard eyed stare. “What’s going on?” I whisper, breath coming out in gasps, hand still on his arm.

I hear a bang, the window shattering into a thousand pieces, each glittering in the morning sunlight.

“We’re under attack” He says, pulling me out the door. As always there is a gun in his hand, face hard and emotionless. He was just about to pull me down the stairs when I hear the sobbing of Molly, the cry of Miss Devonthorpe and another screech of a bullet. I freeze and stare at him. Then I whisper “We have to get them out” He stares back at me, face raging, his own hand practically tearing at my arm. Then, as always he replies oh, so simply “No.”

I growl, uncharacteristically so and with one silent command send a blast of hate and sorrow in his direction before punching him around the face. He falls, tumbling down the stairs. I watch, horrified at my actions before turning away, running down the hallway and in the direction of Molly’s room. Bursting in I hear a startled whimper and stare in the direction of the quivering sheets. “Shh” I whisper “It’s me Adrian” The girl’s head peaks from the covers, her bottom lip wobbling, tears staining her pale face. “Where’s Mommy?” She asks and I frown at her innocence, Miss Devonthorpe was probably dead.

Another shot rings around the little house and by some amazing means I knows it’s Martin’s.

I pick her up in her arms, telling her to be a brave girl and be as quiet as she possibly can. Then I slowly move my way down the hall and down the stairs. Someone grabs my arm and shoves me out the open door. I glance back, only to see three dead bodies, the little girl’s mother dead on the kitchen floor and two anoyomus men laying next to her, both with a bullet through their heads. I gag, clutch the now screaming child closer and pratically fall out the door, Martin’s hand on my arm, leading the way.

And once again, we were on the run.

[MOUSE-08]

C H A P T E R S O M E T H I N G

For the whole time we had trekked across the quiet, never ending green of the Elias Plains, Martin had remained silent, jaw clenched, hand gripping his gun just that little bit too tight. While little Molly stumbled on beside me, face pale, tears forever streaming down her cheeks. And there I was, stuck in the middle, not knowing what to say to either of them. Once of twice the silence was broken, when I had asked if Molly wanted to be carried and even then I had only got a solemn nod in reply. While the blonde haired man’s pace never ceased, eyes trained on the distance, not caring when the little girl fell over and needed helping up.

Finally we had stopped to sit under a large tree. There Martin had stalked off across the plains, searching for something, as always. While I pulled in Molly’s shaking form into a one armed sort of hug, her leaning against my side, telling her to get to sleep. She was draped in my dressing gown, while I sat bare-chested, only a flimsy pair of pajama bottoms to keep myself warm. I was sad I hadn’t got up earlier unlike Martin who was the only one fully dressed.

I sighed, tightened my grip around Molly’s fragile form and let my head fall against the tree we were both leaning on, hoping to get some sleep.

------------

A gun clicked and something pressed hard to my head. I froze, eyes shooting open, only to see Martin staring intently at me, gun firmly in his grip. Behind him a fire roared and little Molly slept beside it, still draped in my dressing gown. As for me I was pressed hard agaisnt the bark, the wood biting into my skin and a gun to my head. My breath caught short, my heart picked up its speed and I whispered a hesitant “Martin…”

He stared; grey eyes blazing then in one swift movement the gun hit my cheek, a violent movement. It burned and I stared, my gaze not faltering as my heart ached. Whether it was because of its frantic pace or the feeling of hurt I couldn’t decide. No, I didn’t care. All I could do was try and swallow, my throat dry. Try to make my lips move and say something, anything but all I could see was his hard eyed stare. And I almost thanked him when he spoke, no snarled first.

“You fucking bastard! What did you think you were doing?” He kicked me and I stared in disbelief. Where was the Martin I knew? I felt anger pound within me and stood, not caring how the gun was still trained on my head. Clenching my fist I whispered in reply, telling myself not to get too angry. “I was getting out Molly! And where do you think you get the right to talk to me like I’m a child? I thought you understood me Martin!”

“You acted like a child, so why shouldn’t I treat you like one?”

I stared then, still calmer than the other man I replied “If I am such a child why don’t you kill me? After all if I’m such a child why would I be any help to you?” I continued looking at him, watching as his finger wavered on the trigger, watched as his face never faltered from its blank mask. I grabbed his arm, shaking it slightly then spat in his face “Do it!”

Behind him Molly started crying and I stared at him, fingers digging into his arm. The gun moved away and he glared at me in silence before whispering “Why would I want to waste bullets on someone like you?” Before he pulled away from my grasp, disappearing into the darkness. Molly stared at me and I kicked the tree, jumping as a bird flew from its branches. I didn't have to check to know it was a black crow. The black crow. Yet again staring at me before it turned away, lifting into the sky, letting out a mocking caw.

Strangley I thought it was saying, almost time.

-------------

Let’s just say it’s day two of the silence and while it isn’t as uncomfortable as I expected it to be there is still an air of something between the three of us. The only problem is even my years of studying being a psychologist can’t work it out. So instead I follow on, Molly trailing behind me, Martin leading the way. And currently I don’t even know what we are running from but I don’t want to ask and I probably wouldn’t enjoy the answer anyway.

Still I was thankful Martin had grabbed some supplies before he had left. The morning after the ‘incident’ (as I referred to it) he had chucked me a bland, grey t-shirt. I had muttered a thank you which earned me another hardened glare and then we were off again, trekking across the never ending green fields. The sky was a beautiful blue hue and the odd bird flew by. I was very much welcoming of the birds, it made me feel more comfortable, knowing there was more than just the three of us out in the bare landscape.

We were heading to the city of Elei, which held no real interest for me. My father had been there once, probably getting off with its street whores and committing dark deeds than doing ‘work business’. He had said it was a beautiful city, which probably meant dingy and dark. He had also told me it had been named after it’s creator Elei who had discovered and built the city, then had discovered the great stretching plains of green grass and had named them Elias, after his son.

But I didn’t care much for stories, not now anyway. Because all of this crap was too real and I didn’t know how to cope with it. After all the only company I had to talk to seemed to have taken up ignoring me. So I just thought the days through, over and over.

Sadly, time went no faster and we continued walking, the steady beat of our footsteps the only sound to listen to.

---------

“Stop!” Someone roared and I froze, catching hold of Molly’s hand, pulling her closer to my side. Meanwhile I could see Martin pull out his gun, holding it in front of him and, as always, ready to fire. It was late evening now and a beautiful sunset bathed everything in red but I didn’t care, I was hungry, tired and I had a throbbing headache that wouldn’t go away. “State your business!” A deep voice roared and I stood, stock still, knowing whoever it was, was stood right behind me.

I was thankful when I heard Martins ice cold voice respond with a simple “Just passing through” There was silence, a suffocating silence and I didn’t know what to do. Just stood there with little Molly shaking and whimpering at my side. We were stood in the middle with the two people who had guns, which had to be one of the most dangerous positions you could be in.

Then the coarse voice spoke again and everything happened at once “Liar.” The sound of the shot gun echoed hollowly around the field and I stared as a bullet buried itself in Martins chest. The pistol slipped from his finger tips landing with a thud on the floor then he, himself, fell. Blood soaked his light blue t-shirt and he lay, bathed in the horrid red light of the sun.

Molly let out a horrid cry and I stumbled forward, falling to the floor, where his barley breathing form lay. Gingerly I touched his chest. Heart hammering against my chest. Vision blurring. I feel sick, watching him, laying there, blood gushing from his chest. I swallow and turn, staring at the man behind me. Then, I’m suddenly using Martin’s ice cold tone and cannot help let my emotions push out of me, harder and more disorientating than ever before. “Get him help!” I stare, hands pushing on his chest, hoping to stop the blood but his heartbeats fainter than ever. Thump, thump, thump against my hand, fading and fading. There are tears in my eyes and all I can feel is the material of his t-shirt and my hands are red. This is my fault, my fault. I should have jumped, should have stopped him, should have been braver. “Help him!” I’m screaming and I can’t see and it hurts. Burns. There’s blood in my mouth and I don’t know why.

Molly’s crying and he’s not breathing. He should be breathing. Or told me something, like on those movies. Last words and all that shit. I can’t care, there are hands on my shoulders, pulling me back and I’m crying and I can’t feel. My head hurts. I scream, something, I don’t know what. There’s blood on my hands. Hands on my shoulders. Shaking, shaking, shaking. And he’s not breathing. Red hands, red sunset, red blood- darkness. And I’m falling, falling, falling and I can’t let go. Not yet. Not now-

[MOUSE-08]

Up to you

[MOUSE-08]

C H A P T E R S O M E T H I N G

It’s too bright and I don’t know where I am. The walls are white and the door is white and the sheets are white. Everything’s bright and white and cheery. I am staring at the ceiling, which is too blank. My hands are gripping the sheets (the white sheets) and I can’t feel them even though I know what I am doing. My knuckles are white, my face pale and I’m laying, staring at the blank ceiling. More importantly I know I am not alone in the room. For while everything else is so damn white, a black crow sits on the bedpost, staring with its usual intensity. I don’t exactly know how it’s there but at the same time I do.

I sit up and smile at the creature, which turns its head, giving a small subtle suggestion that it is smiling as well. Then, I’m crawling forward like I’m a child again, fingers outstretched, eyes wide. The creature hops away and I whisper “Why are you following me?” the beast stills for a moment before fluttering its wings in harsh, quick way. I crawl forward again, hand grabbing onto the bedpost, the other reaching out, yearning to touch the strange creature. This time it does not move and lets me softly stroke its feathers. It caws, loud and strange. Before bouncing up and down the bedpost, wings flapping, eyes blazing. “Red blood! Red blood!” It screams and I reach out to calm it. But there’s blood on my hands and the beast is laughing. Then it’s holding something, a bullet in its beak.

It’s too dark and I still don’t know where I am. It’s black and cold and I all I can hear is the birds mocking laughter. Saying “Why save him? Why save him?” Then I can feel it’s wings, beating past, blowing wind onto my face. It’s whispering “Bearer, Bearer, beware the bearer!” And I’m no longer falling, I’m fading and there’s blood on my fingertips and the crow is circling my head. Everything fades away.

------------

Mr Pendantis?
Yes?
Will Adrian wake up?
There was a pause, some shuffling then a gruff voice replied “I don’t know.”
The girl let out a small, soft ‘oh’ sound. Then there was the quiet sound of water dripping and splashing before a cold, wet piece of material was swept gently across my forehead. It’s a welcome relief. A relief because everything in my body aches. I wish I was still sleeping because of it and because I’m scared that if I open my eyes I won’t like what I’ll see.

Fingertips suddenly press against my wrist and the contact burns, an incrediable heat to it. There’s a small exclamation from the child and in an urgent voice she says “His heart beat is back!” My heart beat is back? My eyes shoot open, my breathing coming out in a gasp and I lay, staring at the ceiling (the blank ceiling).This time the shout of surprise is louder, a weight suddenly pushing off the bed and a loud crash to accompany it. Water drips on the floor, soaking my leg and I sit up, looking around with wide eyes. The girl is panicing, trying to wipe up the water with the bedsheets, her brown hair bouncing. Meanwhile a rough looking man leans on the bedpost (crow on the bedpost, crow on the bedpost) a bemused look on his face. I jump up, feet touching the stone floor then, before I have the chance to tell myself to stop I’m running out the door.

“What’s going on?” My heart skips a beat, I recognize that voice. Too late though, I crash into the other figure. There’s a small struggle, me trying to push myself off him while he grabs my wrists, looking ready to throw me against the wall. “Adrian?” They ask and I peer up, hating the way his voice is so tense and tight. One hand reaches up to my cheek and he looks so ready to speak but yet again the rooms blurring and blackening. His hands are too hot. Next thing I know, I’m hitting the stone floor.

----------

You’re disappointed aren’t you?
No.
Don’t lie to me.
Fine then, yes
…
Why don’t you just kill me again?
Because he would bring you back again.
Why do you care about him so much?
I have my reasons.
…
Will you tell him?
No. Either you have to do it or he will find out for himself.
“You don’t understand-”
There was an angry growl “Of course I do!”
They paused, tension crackling in the air then that familiar voice started with a shaky “I-”
“I know you do, I know” the other man replied, softer in his words. There was a tired, irritated noise then, after the creak of an old chair one of the men in the room retreated out the door. It was pretty easy to guess which one.

I blinked in silence, eyes moving to the other figure who was sat in the corner of the room. He wasn’t the oldest of men, probably mid-forties but he had a tiredness to his eyes and a twisted smile to his lips. He had a strong jaw which was covered by stubble, a sort of brown-grey beard. His hair, meanwhile, was well cut. Giving him a sort of regal look even if slightly rough to the edges. He chuckled then asked “How’re feelin’?” I frowned at his accent; I’d never heard it before. The problem was I didn’t even get a chance to ask because his rough voice replied “Southern Palia, grew up there as a kid never really lost it.”

Confusion hit me with full force and I pulled myself up, noting how much I didn’t hurt anymore.
“You killed him” I whispered, voice still confused, bordering on the line of hateful.
He shrugged, eyes never leaving me, never blinking “You brought ‘im back to life.” One thing that did hurt though was my head. The questions packed in there I couldn’t put into words, I was too confused.
“How?” I asked, voice faltering slightly as I stared back at him. He didn’t say anything, just got up, limping over to the bed. I stared at the culprit, his leg, which looked fine on the outside.

He grinned, pulling up his trouser leg. There the scars were horrific, teeth and claw marks all along it.
“Wolf” He smiled, before pulling the trouser leg down and sitting down next to me.
“How much of our conversation did you hear?” He asked smoothing out a piece of material near him. I shrugged, leaning on the head of the bed.
“What hasn’t Martin told me?” I asked my voice wary.
He grinned then replied “I told him I wouldn’t tell you, so why do you expect me to?” I shrugged, eyes flickering to other parts of the room, ignoring his questioning look.

I didn’t know why I thought he would answer; after all he was a sort-of-murderer and a stranger to me. Yet sat here I felt truly comfortable, more comfortable than I had in months, year’s maybe. After all when growing up in a family such as mine it was hard not to feel uncomfortable no matter what the situation.

“How long have I been out?” I asked, refusing to look him in the eye and instead sat staring at the opposite wall.
“Around two to three weeks”
“That long?” I whispered, closing my eyes quietly and pulling the blankets up around me.
The other man nodded. I can feel his eyes never leaving me, burning holes through my back. Without meaning to I shiver.

[MOUSE-08]

C H A P T E R S O M E T H I N G

ive skipped chapters because, well, my muse wandered and the only way I was going to write anymore was to write this. So yeah. Deal xD

Plot recap (whats happening before next scene) -adrian meets/tries to shoot Gareth.
Meets the group of runaways.
Molly decides to have a party to celebrate them coming here.
Martin wants to leave but Adrian, comfortable in his new home, refuses to. He persuades Martin to at least stay for the party.

-------

I can hear the fire crackling behind us, the thrum of the music a background sound. Still Molly’s laugh rings loud and clear as she dances with Elei. He looks so young now, eyes alight, singing along with the music but I can trace an ounce of worry on his features. I don’t care though, not a worry in the world. For the night has been perfect, stars glimmering in the sky and a soft gentle breeze, cold but refreshing. Red wine stains my lips and my stomach is full of the buffet we prepared earlier. Presents were shared; jokes laughed at and while I was having the time of my life my eyes would always wander, and land on the cold sight of Martin sat on the bench outside Mr Pendantises porch. It made my heart drop.

So finally, with way too much alcohol in my system I practically skipped over to where he was sat, one hand on a bottle of something-or-another the other swinging by my side. I stood quietly before him and reached out a hand, a beckoning gesture. He looked at me and then back at my hand, a almost repulsive look on his face. I sighed; rolling my eyes then took another step forward, still holding out my hand.

“Come on and dance with me” I smiled, gleeful and childish as I tipped my head toward the fire where the rest of our small group were dancing with each other.
He gave me a cold, judgmental look and with an end-of tone spoke the words “No.”
I frowned, pouted then chuckled “I’m going to have to make you then” Quickly I grabbed hold of one of his pale hands, pulling him up from the seat.
“Adrian…” He started his voice hard.
“Please” I whispered, not letting go of his hand. If this was going to be the last time I ever saw him again I was going to make the most of it, even if he refused to have a fun time.
He stared but didn’t pull away, which in my mind was a good thing. Then let out a small sigh and muttered a “Fine then” I grinned and after putting down the glass I had in my hand I grabbed him, pulling him toward the festivities.

I was sure as I did I could see a smile tugging at his lips.

As I walked toward the fire I heard a small wolf whistle and flashed a grin at Luna who was twirling little Molly around. Then the dancing began. It was quick, to the thrum of the music and though the dancing style was old it meant that everyone had a chance to dance with everyone. I smiled at Martin, who was trying in vain to keep a straight face as I grabbed hold of Molly’s hand. Time passed, the music changed and I found myself back at where I started, holding Martin’s hand and spinning around with a childish look upon my face.

Before long we were dancing that little bit to close, both under the effects of the alcohol pumping through our system. Martin smiled, one of those rare smiles that I hadn’t seen since when I had first met him. In my chest my heart skipped a beat. Next thing I knew we had both stopped to stare at each other, his hand slightly too tight on my own. The awkwardness was suffocating, so, on impulse I took hold of his chin and leaned forward. Lips met lips. I was soft, tender and most probably messy and he, well he responded desperately, lips raging against my own. Then we were apart again and he was staring at me with some strange expression on his face.

An expression I would not even try and decipher. He growled and with one violent tug was away, disappearing into the darkness. I stood, lips stained with wine and his taste still in my mouth. “Martin!” I called but my voice was weak and he was already out of sight. Silently I turned around, looking back on the party. Most of them hadn’t even noticed but Gareth had turned to stare and at seeing me stare back, dropped his gaze. Celia bore a seething look which could only be said as jealousy. I fell on Elei’s face last and was surprised when I saw worry still written over his features. Was he worried about Martin or myself? Or was he worried about something totally different all together?

Subdued I made my way back to the house and watched as Elei spoke in a hush voice to Celia, who looked like she wanted to give me a piece of her mind before coming in my direction. I grimaced and quickly retreated inside, slamming the door behind me with a bit more force than I anticipated. Then I ran up to my room, hating the way the darkened building seemed to mock me, firelight filtering through the windows. There I lay down, staring at the ceiling. No tears fell from my eyes, I just lay, more silent than ever and listened to the sound of my own breathing.

I felt strange when Elei did not come up to talk to me, no, I felt lonely because somewhere deep inside of me I knew I would probably never see Martin Abley ever again.

[MOUSE-08]

C H A P T E R S O M E T H I N G

It was the morning after and here I was staring out the window, watching as smoke rises from the bonfire, a cruel reminder of yesterday. My head hurts and I think I must have one of the worst hangovers in the world because not only to I feel sick in every physical way inside my heart churns, the first sign of a broken heart. I swear he’s left with the pieces.

Down stairs I can hear them talking and on instinct I pick out Molly’s and Elei’s voice, strangely I also listen out for him when I know he’s not there. A pang of hurt washes over me, more prominent than before. I want to go down and face them but I don’t know if I can especially if Celia has decided she wants to make my life a living hell. Still I need to. I’m hungry and I want to know that Molly’s there, after all she is pretty much what I’ve got left in terms of friends. Elei to me is not a friend he’s a mentor or my father. I sigh and reach for my dressing gown. After wrapping it round myself I silently pad down the stairs, almost hoping they won’t hear me.

As soon as I enter the small, crowded kitchen things fall oddly quiet and I feel them all stare at me like I’ve done something wrong. They knew he was going but if they expected rainbows and sweet last words they got it wrong, they should know by now that he likes to leave something like hate behind. Molly is the only one who smiles and then pats the empty seat next to her saying light heartedly “Come sit next to me” I smile, thankful someone isn’t judging me.
“Oi, that’s Jasper’s seat!” I hear Michael exclaim who has a piece of toast stuffed in his mouth and was reaching for another.
“Shut up Michael, I’ll sit somewhere else” He smiles, appearing from behind the larger man and walking around the table to sit down next to Luna, who was happily tucking into some cereal.
“Thanks” I mutter and plop myself down next to Molly who grins and sticks a piece of toast on my plate. Slowly the noise in the kitchen begins again but all I feel is Celia’s stare from the other end of the table, cold and heartless.
“You look like hell” Molly laughs, flicking one of Luna’s sugarpuffs at me.
I give her a shocked look and laugh slightly too tightly “I do eh?” Then I grab her, tickling her sides, she wriggles, letting out a loud laugh.
“Calm down children” Elei’s voice commands and I look up, stopping my play. His face is still worried and he sits, staring directly at me. I look away and quietly picked up my toast, taking a careful bite out of it.

------------

Breakfast went relatively well, I ate, talked a bit and it was generally a pleasant thing even if my head was pounding from last night’s party. Of course I should have realized by then that nothing was that simple and as I was just about to leave to get ready I heard Celia snarl behind me “How are you feeling Adrian?” I turn, staring at her. Who the hell does she think she is? Ever since she had come here she had been pining after him like a dog after a bone and now that he was gone she was going to blame it on me? I was the one who had decided to not go with him and even then he had told me and Elei that he was leaving today. Elei had even told the rest of the group, not that many of them had cared. Stupid bitch.

I glare at her then in hurry up the stairs, hoping that ignoring her will shut her up. I was thankful when it did but I couldn’t help but wonder for how long. I disappeared into the shower room and got washed slowly, loving the way the warm water poured down my skin and soothed my aching head. Grabbing my towel I had left there earlier I dry myself off then, pulling it around myself, walked down the hall and into my room.

I was just about to pull off the material from around my waist when I hear a small, light cough and turn up to see Jasper sitting on his bed. I stare, confused.
“Elei said I had to share your room now Martin’s gone” He says and I flinch slightly at his name, he notices and continues with a light “Sorry”
I nod and give him a forced smile. It’s weird seeing his stuff gone; it had been removed early yesterday morning and placed in the hall after he had said that he wanted to leave early this morning. Of course, things didn’t exactly go to plan there.
“If you want to talk about it, then I’m here” He whispers kindly and I stare at him, his two blue eyes glimmering in the room’s light. I was never close to Jasper, I had never really talked to him but maybe, this would be my chance. After all we would be sharing a room till who knows when.
“Thanks” I reply gently, he smiles, nods then leaves the room, disappearing down stairs. I close the door after him, fall onto the bed and run a hand down my tired face knowing that I better get ready.

------------

The day wasn’t exactly the most fun of days. I was practically forced into playing cluedo with Luna and Molly, who had found the ancient board up in the attic. Jasper had watched quietly, laughing as I totally gave away the game and got beaten by a six year old. I had hoped that this would mean I would be free of anymore torture but soon enough they had roped me into another game, this time Damian joined in. This time I had won and had been tackled down by Molly because of it. I had also noticed Jaspers fondness toward Luna and had winked at him during the game, this had caused him to blush lightly and then retreat from the room, saying he had to talk to Elei.

That was another thing on my mind I hadn’t seen the ‘leader of the house’ day and I wanted to talk about why he was so worried. I also wanted to ask why he had put Jasper in my room, I was fine with it of course but it was such a random choice, I rarely even spoke to him. Now it was night time and I was sat quietly on my bed, staring out the single window, watching as clouds floated by, not a care in the world. Somewhere behind me I heard a laugh, light filling the room then it was gone again, the door shutting easily. I didn’t have to look to know it was my new room mate.

He walked quietly past my bed and moved over to his side of the room, throwing off his t-shirt as he did so. I smirked. I had been so used to my old room mates clean and tidy ways I’d forgotten how to be messy, so almost cherished the way he threw his clothes in to a heap on the floor. He caught me watching and bent down to pick them up.
“Don’t worry about it Jaz” I said, chuckling lightly.
His damned blue gaze flickered up glazed over with surprise. Hesitantly he nodded then slipped into bed. That was another thing that surprised me, he had always worn pajamas and here my new room mate had only his boxers to keep him warm. I sighed, knowing I should probably stop comparing them. Slowly I crept into my covers, pulling them up around me.

“Adrian?” The other male’s soft voice asked and I turned my head sideways, to face the direction of my bed. “Did you love him?” He asked, my breath caught sort, fingers clamping over the bed sheets, scrunching them up beneath my grasp. “No” I lied, the simply reply sounding harsh on the air, dead and lonely. Then I turned over onto my other side, hoping Jasper wouldn’t ask anything else. I could already feel tears pricking at my eyes and knew that tonight I probably wouldn’t get any sleep.

---------------

It’s been two weeks since he left and it has been the first day it has snowed. Beautiful, white snow. This also meant it was the first day of snow fights and making snowmen. It was also why I was now being sabotaged by Luna, Molly and Jasper who had all decided it would be fun to cover me in the stuff and try to bury me. Elei had laughed when I had pleaded mercy but had made them stop anyway, saying he didn’t want me dripping snow all around the house. It didn’t take long for them to try another tactic of throwing snowballs in at my face.

So here I was, throwing them back, one flying past my face. Quickly I scooped another one up and threw it directly at Jasper. It would have been a good hit if it he hadn’t had bent down to pick up another one. I ran, one hitting me on the back as I did. Then, without looking where I was going collided with Celia’s back. I heard her snarl and turn around to give me an angry glare. Behind me three sets of footsteps crunched across the snow.

“Want to push people over as well as chuck them out?” She said bitterly, anger written all over her face.
“I never chucked him out” I said shakily, hand clenched into a fist, fingers digging into my palm. I could feel everyone’s eyes on us, all movement seeming to have stopped in the garden. She laughed and I frowned, anger doubling, sending off waves if the emotion in her direction.
“Aw, poor Adrian can’t even say his name” She mocked and I was just about to reply when a blonde figure pushed in front of me. I almost couldn’t believe it was Jasper. Mainly by the anger on his face.
“Shut up you bitch! You just wanted Martin all for yourself and when you couldn’t have him you put the blame on Adrian. We’re guests here! We don’t own the place so I don’t know why you think you have the right to go boss everyone about” He snarled, looking ready to punch her in the face.
She made another mocking, oooh noise before starting “Sorry lover boy but-“
She was interrupted by Elei walking through the crowd saying “That’s enough” She turned to glare at him but said nothing, stomping away across the garden.
“You two best go inside, I’ll talk to you later” He said, suddenly sounding strict. I missed the old Elei, I guess it was the stress of having so many people in his home. I turned to look gratefully at Jasper who returned the look with a wary smile then, side by side, we went upstairs.

-------------

I sighed as I sat down, watching as Jasper fought relentlessly with his coat, literally trying to rip if off him. I tried to hide a smile but couldn’t help let one pass across my lips. He stilled and turned to look at me with pleading eyes. I have him a soft smile and got up from my bed, making my way toward the slightly younger male. Concentrating on my task I began to unwork the tangles of buttons and poppers, eyes narrowed on his jacket. He stood, shuffling slightly, embarrassment written all too clearly on his face.

“Thank you for sticking up for me” I whispered, turning from my work to look up at him. He smiled and nodded “That’s alright.” I gave him another thankful look and continued with my task of untangling the coat. The silence with him was oddly comfortable and I felt reluctant to finish my work as I slowly unzipped the zip. It wasn’t long until I had to make things awkward though “What did she mean by lover boy?” I asked hesitantly, standing up to softly help him out of the coat, him shrugging it off while I caught it, placing it on the hook outside of the wardrobe. He looked away, a light blush coming over his cheeks which, in my mind, I thought was pretty cute.

Slowly I made my way back toward him a questioning look on my face “Come on Jaz, you can tell me” I whisper, standing in front of him. Momentarily he hesitates; just standing uncomfortably on the spot then Jasper surprises me for the second time today. With a calm tenderness he places a hand on the side of my cheek then is pulling me in, lips meeting lips. He tastes like strawberries and I lick his lips with a type of hungry urgency. Suddenly we’re pressed up against each other, bodies hot, breath coming out in gasps and I’m grabbing him by his wrists pushing him up against the wall. There’s a small surprised gasp, his head falling back as I rub my body against his own. Next thing I know I’m running trails of kisses down his neck, sucking and biting. Making the kid wither against my touches.

I pause, moving my head up to look into the eyes of the other. My hands are still pining the others to the wall and I take in a harsh breath at the other. His lips are swollen, bruised and red. Eyes dilated. I know I should stop before this goes further. Instead I whisper “Fuck Jaz” And press another urgent kiss to his lips.

----------

What have I done?

I ask myself as I lay here, Jasper sleeping contentedly on my chest, my hand softly stroking his hair. Two weeks after I loose him I’m fucking some person who, by the sound of his groans, has probably never had a ‘relationship’ with another man before. Of course I never used to care back in my old life and then it was fuck whoever wants it. Yet now? After I went through everything with Martin? I wouldn’t ever do it again yet I did. That’s why I am laying here, the other males head on my chest. Truthfully, it wasn’t ever Jasper that I wanted, it was him.

I wanted to hear his moans as I pushed him against the wall, I wanted to know where to touch him to make him squirm, I wanted to know how he would kiss me. Jasper was and is just a substitute, with blonde hair and pale skin and brilliant eyes. Still he is beautiful and all I have. He is what I will fight for. What I will die for. Softly I stroke Jasper’s cheek and close my eyes, trying to fall back to sleep.

-------------

It’s been a week since me and Jaspers relationship started, Celia has been oddly quiet about it but I’m sure that’s because Elei talked to her. Well, he hasn’t talked to me or Jasper, which is confusing because he said he would. So I’m starting to wonder if he has something against me. Most people we’ve told or have guessed, after all many couldn’t help but here the noise of our night time activities. Many don’t seem to mind, after all view on homosexuality has changed a lot and it is rarely not accepted. They just told us not to be too noisy at night. Which is harder than I expected it to be because though Jasper’s pretty plain on the outside, boy he’s an addictive little bugger.

Still the life I am now leading seems to be getting to me slightly; the place is so damn crowded. You go into one room to get some peace and quiet and you find someone sat there who usually wants to have a chat with you. I think Jasper’s noticed that I hate being crowded now, properly because I spend most of my time in our room, staring bleakly out the window. It’s where I am now, sat in the window sill, just as I had in the Devonthorpe house. This time things where different though and even though I tried to remain happy and look happy and act happy, somewhere deep inside of me I was broken and I couldn’t work out how to pick up the pieces. I couldn’t work out how to go back to being normal. After all I was nothing but a crow bearer wasn’t I?

The morning was clear, fresh. The sky was a light shade of grey but it didn’t threaten rain or snow, no, most of that had fallen last night to leave everything covered in white. It was beautiful, seeing the garden, the woods and the surrounding fields glistening. Of course it was beautiful but it was also deadly yesterday Gareth had slipped on a particular icy patch and was in such a bad state he had to be carried back to the house. Now he was suffering with a broken ankle and too many bruises to count. Quietly I put on my jacket, watching as Jasper lay sleeping on the bed then opened the door, leaving in silence.

Bouncing down the stairs I felt glad I had got up so early, everywhere was quiet and still, the only sound being the old grandfather clock in the hall, ticking by. “Adrian” Someone whispered, I started and froze, fingers resting on the door handle leading to outside. I knew who it was, it was Elei and I turned slowly to give him a quiet look. He was stood in the doorway of the kitchen, worry written all too clearly across his face.
“What is it?” I asked my voice dull.
“Be careful” He said simply and I frowned, was that some sort of warning? But I nodded anyway and before he had anything else to say escaped out the door.

The cold air hit me hard and I pulled the jacket around me. Letting out a sigh I began to walk through the snow and toward the forest, feeling glad for the peace and quiet. Now I just had time to think rather than play along with happy families. I should have probably guessed that it wouldn’t be as ‘quiet’ as I thought it would.

I was trying to remember the path through the forest, staring blankly at the snow when somewhere behind me a twig snapped. I thought I was paranoid; after all there was a couple of deers and birds in the forest so why should I be scared of a twig snapping? So I continued on the trail, which wasn’t really a trail seeing it was covered in a think layer of snow. Finally I stopped to sit down on a large log, head in my hands, eyes closed and just breathing. I don’t know how I could handle it. Everything had gone or had changed. Everything that was him.

It was hard to hold back the tears.

Something snapped, footsteps crunched across the snow and a gun clicked. My eyes shot upward. I knew that gun. I knew that sound. And there he was, stood in a suite looking as cold and calm and collected as ever. Looking like nothing had ever happened. Like he had never known me. Looking ready to kill me, a gun in his hand. Then, for the first time in weeks I whispered the words “Martin…” I was up, off my seat, ready to hug him, hold him, touch him. Wanting the contact, wanting to know this wasn’t just some weird hallucination like with the crows.

“Don’t come any closer” He snarled, gun now pressed against my chest, finger balanced easily on the trigger. I stop and stare at him; he looks so beautiful, blonde hair messy, grey-green eyes fixed on my face and his pale skin looking more ghostly than ever. Beautiful but deadly.
“You came back” I whisper, almost unaware of the weapon on my chest, unaware of how cold I am.
“I never left” He replies simply, not quite looking me in the eye.
“You fucked Jasper” He snarls, my breath catching short. How could he know? Then it dawns on me.
“Celia” I whisper, voice hate filled but it says everything to the both of us. It was why she was so quiet, she was Martins little servant, spying on me and giving him food. He doesn’t say anything but from the look on his face I know that it’s true.
This time I’m not pleased by the silence, it’s not comfortable, it’s tight. Leaving me no room to breath.
“Are you going to kill me?” I ask, voice sounding weak on the air, like it’s the party all over again.
“Yes” He replied simply, voice cold, face blank.
“Thank you for everything” I whisper, not knowing where my words are coming from but I don’t care because I am thankful. Thankful for him giving me a little taste of life, giving me something to fight for. Changing me. He says nothing at my response but there’s that little crease between his eyes and I know he’s thinking. Thinking hard and fast.

“Get back” He says simply but instead I move my hand forward, touching his cheek carefully. He’s frozen but I don’t have time to think about it because he screams “Get back!” Once again and I move back, step by step. Counting down each second before I die. I want to close my eyes, to get away but I want to watch as he does this. Want to see him before me, pulling the trigger.
“I was always going to kill you” He whispers and my heart skips a beat, throbbing with hurt in my chest. I can feel a single tear fall from my eye, ice cold on my cheek and rolling down. He was always going to kill me.
I can’t say anything. I don’t want to. My mouth is dry. Eyes wet. Heart hammering against my chest. Yet still a crow watches from the branches and I’m sure I’m smiling but I can’t feel it. I can’t feel it at all. Because it’s all cold. Too cold. The gun goes off.

The bullet flies through the air.

Hitting my chest.

Drop.

Blood stains the snow.

I’m falling.

Falling.

He was always going to kill me.

was always going to kill me

always going to break my heart

always.

[MOUSE-08]

C H A P T E R S O M E T H I N G

i warned you.
we never knew when it was going to happen.
but it did happen and he nearly died because of it.
hes alive now its our job to look after him.

everything is too loud now. the rooms to white, too plain. i dont like the colour white anymore. not that i ever really liked the colour white. its too hot. too many covers on the bed and its too dark. its not night time but its dark. too dark. i like the bird. theres a bird on the bedpost. a crow on the bedpost. its whistling and i like the sound of it. a lullaby. whats your name little bird? munin. i like that name. and the birds smiling and its sat on the covers. the covers are too hot. will you stay for a while little munin? yes, always, always.

------------

how long are you going to keep waiting jasper?
as long as i have to.
yeah right.
i love him, i will not give him up.

someones laughing and theres something warm on my hand. holding it. pressing lips to it. and im confused and the lights to bright. the light on the ceiling. munin? yes little human? who am i? munins staring out the window. sat on the window sill. like the window sill in the other house. what other house? and the little crow turns and smiles. he knows i want to know. adrian. whos that? thats you little human.

---------------

i miss him.
we all do molly, we all do but you and jasper have missed him most.
will he wake up?
eventually. he just needs some time.

time? how much time do i have? more than youll ever know. i dont understand anymore. there are people in the room and i know theyre there. i dont know who they are. he said molly, i like that name, it makes me feel comfortable. makes me feel nicer. because its weird here and darker. too dark. i miss the light. sunlight and sunset. will i wake up? munins sat next to me. i like the feel of his feathers, theyre so soft. he likes it when i stroke him, i know he does. you are not sleeping little human. why? because i wont let you fall to sleep. why not? because then you wouldnt wake up little human. will i wake up? you just need some time.

-------------

hi
hey Luna.
don't give up on him yet, i think he'll wake up soon.
i've never given up on him.
you are though, you just can't see it.

Munin? what is it little human? who are these people? i like their voices, especially the boys, i recognize it but i heard him before. they called him Jasper. Jaz. yeah. Jaz. they're your friends. is that why i recognize them? yes little human that's why you recognize them. it's late and i don't know how i know but i do. i know they'll be having dinner downstairs and they'll make a lot of noise. because they always used to make noise. i didn't like it but now i do, its comforting. to hear them all talking when all i feel is the darkness. not always dark though. when the light on its brighter but i still can't see them. i can never see them. will i see them again? soon. very soon.

-----------

Gareth, what are you doing here?
I keep hearing something.
What do you mean?
A name. I keep hearing a name and every time I hear it Adrian's saying it.
What name?
Munin.

He knows you. I know he does. How? He has a heightened sense of hearing, so he can hear me as well. I don't understand what he's saying but I don't care, he's sat on my shoulder, softly nibbling at my hair. I think if he hadn't been here I would have gone mad by now. Munin? Yes little human? Thank you for everything. The bird laughs and it's sweet on the air, like chimes in the wind. I wonder why Elei said that it was a horrible sound. To me it's beautiful. Why do you thank me little human? Because you have helped me. I understand now. It will be harder soon. Why? I like it here. You have to go back. Will you still stay with me? I told you before little one, always. Always.

-----------

"Luna said that he would wake up soon" I hear Jasper say quietly, his hand softly running down my cheek, brushing past my lips.
"He will" I hear a soft reply, the voice belonging to Molly. Jasper pauses touching my cheek and I'm sure Molly's giving him a hug. I remember her doing that, always one to comfort people.
"I'm going to get some lunch, i'll talk to you later" I hear her say before there's a pause and the sound of the door closing behind her.
The silence is strange and I can feel Jasper softly running a hand down my face, his fingertips soft and calming.

Help me Munin.
Don't worry, i'm here.

Gently, slowly, unsure of what I should do I let my lips press against his hand. For a moment he doesn't seem to notice but then I’m literally sucking at his finger. I hear his breath speed up and I hear the hesitant whisper of "Adrian?" I smile and slowly open my eyes, blinking back the light. It's strange, being 'awake' again. Laying here in my old bed, with the white sheets and the wooden bedposts. "Jaz" I whisper back, my voice harsh, almost dusty seeing I haven't talked in that long. His lips crush against my own and I’m pushed back into the mattress. Raising my hand up I hesitantly place it on his neck and kiss back tenderly. Slowly he pulls away, leaving me breathless.

“I missed you” He whispered quietly, running a hand down my face. I give him a weak smile because I can’t help but notice how tired he looks and a paler than I remembered him. Still he’s my Jasper and he waited. He actually waited for me. Silently I grab his hand, placing a kiss on each of his knuckles. Then whisper in response “Come sleep with me” He looks at me, giving me a soft grin. Then, after I shuffled up he pulled off his t-shirt, revealing a well toned chest then slipped in beside me.

“Have you been working out?” I whisper, a light smile on my lips as I curl up beside him, putting my head on his chest and listening to the beat of his heart. I hear him chuckle, a chuckle which is slightly too tight. “Yes, why do you like it?” He asks, slowly running a hand down my side and resting it lightly on my waist. I grin and place a kiss to his chest. Without looking at him I say “Yes” His heartbeat quickens slightly and I grin and then whisper “For now, can we just sleep?” I can feel his blue eyed gaze on me then his lips are on my head and he’s whispering back “Yes”

Just as I’m about to fall to sleep I mumble quietly “I missed you to” On the bedpost, a watchful crow whistles its lullaby that only Adrian can hear.