Another Essay

[Whitey]

Not done yet, gotta write it for tomorrow, I'd rather have this one than the other for my teacher. If ya'll have any comments once it's done then by all means I'll take criticism. Just keep in mind this is a madman draft meaning I wrote whatever came to mind with very little structure.

Select a prominent person you admire. How does he or she inspire you and why?

Tell us about a conversation you've had that changed your perspective or was otherwise meaningful to you.

I'm not sure you could consider it a true conversation, it wasn't between two people, there wasn't verbal response between us. The best conversations I've had have been between myself and the horses I work with. You pay attention to their suddle movements and you can mostly understand what they're thinking. They pay attention to your movements too, they can sense what you're feeling by how tense you are and how you move or act.

I would work with one horse in particular; a rescue horse of Sarah's named Levi. We would work on a lunge line on the ground with a lead line. He never really liked to be lunged, always challenging me by flipping out or just stopping on the spot. When Sarah got him he had issues with his hooves, his back, and his coat to name a few. Sarah taught me how to groom him so the rain rot would come off (basically scabs on his back and rear) and how to work him to get him back in riding condition. I got to know him well and he knew me. I would rub at the rain rot with a sweat scraper until they came off, keeping an eye on his ears to know when it was time to stop.

My favorite times with him were when we would walk up the hill to the outdoor arena and spend time up in the grass. I would groom him in the arena; the lead rope hanging in front of him, and him rarely moving because he enjoyed being brushed--it scratched all his itches. I would lunge him until he started to not listen. Once I could get his attention back, we'd go one more round to end on a good note. I would take him out to eat some fresh grass as a reward. I'd just sit there in the grass and let him wander on the lunge line all around me, grazing.

It was working with him and those very suddle, silent conversations between us that I treasure more than any conversation with a person. A true understand of one another and even when he didn't want to cooperate it was clear he knew what I wanted from him. People aren't the same way; most people around me aren't open to understanding my views but rather pushing their own, leading to arguments. I would rather stay quiet than have to endure an argument with someone I respect over a difference in opinion.

Okay, a few things: I think the ending is very random. It needs to change a bit, maybe that could be included somewhere else, but it needs a different end note. I think I need a different opener too. Something that sets the scene rather than addressing the question at hand directly at the start. There was something else I thought....but it's passed right now. So, go a head and give me some critiue. And yeah, it's another College Essay.

[Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander]

I love how it's about a horse instead of a human being. :3 Looks like an interesting read.

-should be doing a RAFT-

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[Whitey]

Thanks. I miss him so much though, he was a gorgeous chestnut thoroughbred gelding, probably about 16 hh, so skinny, he shimmered basically red in the sun. I wanted him so badly, but he had to be put down, too many issues for him to deal with. He ended up with a navicular issue leading to lamenitis in all of his feet...or maybe just three. Anyway we had to put him down in the spring. I didn't know until a few days before and then I couldn't be there when they did it. He left and then came back and then was put down....anywho. I've got a new love now, she reminds me of him, she was there for me when he left first and then again when he was put down. She's gorgeous, perfect conformation friesian mare cross... I want her...she's just being trained...or started. Absolutely the sweetest most gorgeous horse I've ever seen. XDD <3333

[Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander]

Awww, lamenitis is never fun, ever. It's very sad he had to be put down. D:

Oh my... Fresians are LOVE. I really hope you get her! <3

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[Whitey]

Heh, no way I'll get her. That would be my ultimate present, but we can't afford heat this winter....not 'till december anyway, we'd never be able to afford a horse plus board even with me working for the owner (sarah...she owns Maara too) Maara's the mare...I named her...well suggested it and they loved it. xD

[Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander]

Maara is a beautiful name. Fit for a Fresian. x3 And that sucks. D8 Sometimes I wish I could own a horse, but we have no board or anywhere to keep it if I did end up having one, but if I was to choose between getting a horse, or getting a wolf, I'd be all over that offer of a wolf. XD -needs to get a job but the place she wants to work at won't hire her til she's seventeen-

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[Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander]

S= Spelling. G= Grammar.

I'm not sure you could consider it a true conversation, it wasn't between two people, there wasn't verbal response between us. The best conversations I've had have been between myself and the horses I work with. You pay attention to their suddle ['S' This isn't a word. Is it suppose to be sudden or subtle?] movements and you can mostly understand what they're thinking. They pay attention to your movements too, they can sense what you're feeling by how tense you are and how you move or act.

I would work with one horse in particular; a rescue horse of Sarah's named Levi . We would work on a lunge line on the ground with a lead line. He never really liked to be lunged, always challenging me by flipping out or just stopping on the spot. When Sarah got him he had issues with his hooves, his back, and his coat to name a few. Sarah taught me how to groom him so the rain rot would come off (basically scabs on his back and rear) and how to work him to get him back in riding condition. I got to know him well and he knew me. I would rub at the rain rot with a sweat scraper until they came off, keeping an eye on his ears to know when it was time to stop.

My favorite times with him were when we would walk up the hill to the outdoor arena and spend time up in the grass. I would groom him in the arena; the lead rope hanging in front of him, and him rarely moving because he enjoyed being brushed--it scratched all his itches. I would lunge him until he started to not listen. Once I could get his attention back, we'd go one more round to end on a good note. I would take him out to eat some fresh grass as a reward. I'd just sit there in the grass and let him wander on the lunge line all around me, grazing.

It was working with him and those very suddle ['S' Again as with above.], silent conversations between us that I treasure more than any conversation with a person. A true understand of one another ['G' Woudln't it be better wording if it was "true understanding of each other"?] and even when he didn't want to cooperate it was clear he knew what I wanted from him. People aren't the same way; most people around me aren't open to understanding my views but rather pushing ['G' Pushing? Push sounds better here] their own, leading to arguments. I would rather stay quiet than have to endure an argument with someone I respect over a difference in opinion.

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[Whitey]

Merci, merci Zedd xD I realized Suddle isn't a word when I went to print it for the class...I think I changed it to quiet the first time and i forget the second..hmmm XD -wants more people to comment-

[Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander]

I was like, suddle? Thats not a word. -goes to look it up for sure- Yup, definitely not a word. xD

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[Whitey]

Well I'd like to have more than just Zedd commenting on it xD It's now into second draft mode in our class and this is it. I'd like it if --Zedd-- could check to see if I'm consistent in my verb tenses as that has always been an issue of mine, but I'd like some contructive critisism from people please xD

Tell us about a conversation you’ve had that changed your perspective or was otherwise meaningful to you.

I'm not sure you could consider it a true conversation, it wasn't between two people, there wasn't verbal response between us. The best conversations I've had, have been between the horses I work with and myself. You pay attention to their small movements and you can mostly understand what they're thinking. They pay attention to your movements too, they can sense what you're feeling by how tense you are and how you move or act.
I would work with one horse in particular; a rescue horse named Levi. We would work on a lunge line—a long line attached to the horses head on the halter to keep control while having them go around you in a circle—or on the ground with a lead line. He never really liked to be lunged, always challenging me by acting out or just stopping on the spot.
When he arrived, he had issues with his hooves, his back, and his coat to name a few. I was taught how to groom him so the rain rot would come off (basically scabs on his back and rear) and how to work him to get him back in riding condition. I got to know him well and he knew me. I knew what to watch for to know that something was wrong with him. Whether it was his behavior or his appearance, I could tell in an instant.
Levi was about 16 hands high, or about 5’ 4”, with a gorgeous chestnut coat that would shine red with the slightest bit of sun. The barn owner, Sarah, had rescued him from a sticky situation. He had been up to his knees in mud horribly emaciated had a type of anemia his hooves were in terrible shape; his back wasn’t any better; and he had rain rot. I would rub at the rain rot with a sweat scraper until it came off, keeping an eye on his ears to know when it was time to stop.
I was excited to have him as my own project to work on. I had worked with Sarah for almost 3 years doing anything that needed to be done at the barn without any payment or reward; just being around the horses was enough for me. I felt a connection with him from the moment I saw him; I even made sure I got to feed him his grain chock full of Red Cell, a supplement to boost the red blood cell count in anemic horses, and beet pulp, a soaked grain the help him gain weight. He would just stand there with his head down eating and I would guard him from the other horses and make sure he got all of his medicine.
My favorite times with him were when we would walk up the hill to the outdoor arena and spend time up in the grass. I would groom him in the arena; the lead rope hanging in front of him, and him rarely moving because he enjoyed being brushed—it scratched all his itches. I would lunge him until he started to not listen. Once I could get his attention back, we'd go one more round to end on a good note. I would take him out to eat some fresh grass as a reward. I'd just sit there in the grass and let him wander on the lunge line all around me, grazing.
I had been working with him to ultimately be able to ride him; and even though I never did—he was put down last fall due to lameness in three legs—it always felt right to be around him. I don’t feel cheated but rather content with the fact that he had to go. We had a true understanding of one another and even when he didn't want to cooperate it was clear he knew what I wanted from him. It was working with him and those very soft, silent conversations between us that I treasure more than any conversation with a person.

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[Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander]

It looks good to me, mainly because nothing jumped out at me that wasn't suppose to be there. Good work on it, however.

And maybe we'd get others. xP

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